We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
