hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize