no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
