she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
