you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
