I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
