so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
