I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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