Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
