I hate all girls vehemently.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
