I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You should frame my arrest warrant.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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