would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
