Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
