there's paper in my vomit.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
