Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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