T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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