Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
