I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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