I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
