woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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