Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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