I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
