I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
