oh god the rape fog is back!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
