he puts the penis in happiness.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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