some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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