We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
