I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize