I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
