after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
