My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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