I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am available for nakedness
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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