I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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