I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
