Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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