your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
