Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
