You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
