drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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