We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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