its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
