Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
