there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
