we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
