office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Welp...herpes.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
