i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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