Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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