I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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