so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Randomize
