They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
