Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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