Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize