I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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