Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
