I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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