goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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