just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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