be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
