you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
