we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
