omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
