everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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