im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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