One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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