Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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